Bieber Wars: Episode V
A long time ago (five weeks ago) in a galaxy far, far away (Seattle), a battle was waging between two Imperial plebs. They'd fought long and hard, but everyone could see the battle was coming to an end. What they didn't know was who would come out victorious. This is the final chapter of the the Bieber Wars (or is it?).
Day 21:
I return the day after Cinco de Mayo (Seis de Mayo?) to find no retaliation from Wishbone, which is entirely understandable, because I, myself, could only think up this sad little gem. It was sort of a self-portrait, except I stopped at two. I think. It's a bit blurry, really.
***
Day 22:
I yet again find no retaliation and am yet again completely uninspired, so I turn to Glee. Again. It's hilarious if you watch.
***
Day 23:
And again, there is no retaliation. I go in for the kill with (really bad) Gaga Bieber. WISHBONE DIDN'T GET IT. I'm horrified. It's OK, though, I have a plan.
***
Day 24:
I expect no retaliation, and I find none, which is good, because I needed plenty of time to execute my final strike:
BEHOLD!
It's MAGICAL!
And TASTY (the cupcake, not Bieber).
These are NOT my stroke of genius, sadly, but I had to add them because they're just so AWESOME.
***
Day 25
Wishbone is dumbfounded by the amount of Bieber in her locker. I declare victory.
I also add some flare, seeing as she'll find this on Friday the 13th.
THE END.
Maybe.
Bieber Wars: Episode IV
A long time ago (four weeks ago) in a galaxy far, far away (Seattle), the presence of a rising Dark Lord's (Justin Bieber's) likeness continues to create turmoil within the Empire (a certain unnamed pharmacy company). All of the Imperial plebs have begun to wonder if the battle between Beeb and Wishbone will ever end as the plots get more elaborate with each passing day (well, OK, mostly). This is the continuing story of that battle.
Day 16:
I return on Friday to find...I don't even know, guys. He smelled like fried potato all day, which, I have to say, was something of an improvement. Wishbone said "OM NOM NOM" when I pointed this out. I mocked her appropriately.
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With all of the Royal wedding talk Wishbone was throwing around, I decided the only logical response was Princess Bieber. Of course, my brain sort of wandered in the plotting process, and so we ended up with Princess Peach Bieber.
***
Day 17:
It would seem Wishbone found the other castle, and Bowser Bieber was waiting within. I'm actually quite proud of her for this. For a moment. And then I return to my plotting, for I must not lose this battle.
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Keeping with the Mario theme I seem to have started, I counter with Block Bieber. Wishbone is amused. Creepy mushroom is creepy.
***
Day 18:
Wishbone is apparently also creeped out by the mushroom, as she doesn't retaliate. Not wanting to allow her any time to plot, I strike back with Biebero.
It's a-me!
***
Day 19:
Wishbone (and most everyone else) is shocked and amused by Biebero. Of course, current events sort of blow the Mario theme out of the water, but, hey, look, Wishbone found Osama bin Bieber!
***
Day 20:
I knew Wishbone was plotting something. She counters with Smurf Bieber. OMG, THAT NOSE.
-
I set out with a plan to create a Cinco de Mayo Bieber, but, somewhere along the line, a conversation with another Imperial pleb led to what we're now calling Mexican Charlie Brown Bieber. He's even in 3D!
Stay tuned for week five.
Bieber Wars: Episode III
A long time ago (three weeks ago) in a galaxy far, far away (Seattle), the departure of a certain person from the Empire (a certain unnamed pharmacy company) is but a distant memory as the battle following the discovery of a rising Dark Lord's (Justin Bieber's) likeness rages on across the Empire. The two Imperial plebs (Beeb and Wishbone) have started to form alliances with other members of the Empire as the battle gains momentum. No one is to be trusted (it's basically a free-for-all at this point). This is the continuing story of that battle.
Day 11:
Upon return to the Imperial Soul Star Destroyer on Friday, Wishbone has many a nitpick waiting for my PURPOSELY inaccurate Edward Bieber (we all know she was just intimidated by the fabulous SPARKLES), and has countered with this Bieber from the future. It's funny because it's probably true.
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Continuing the future theme (and because it's the day after what would've been Judgement Day in the world of Terminator and I'm a nerd), I respond with the Biebinator. You puny humans are no match for his music. He'll be back!
***
Day 12:
I must take a brief respite for plotting Doctor Who my health, and so I'm not actually around on Saturday to witness the atrocity of Bunny Bieber, courtesy of Wishbone. I have to wait until Sunday to yell, "SOMEONE KILL IT. PLEASE." as I open my locker.
***
Day 13:
Of course, come Sunday, I am well-rested and prepared to return to battle. I combine my two greatest weapons in to one: Zombie Jesus Bieber (a.k.a. Blasphemy Bieber). It is, after all, Zombie Jesus Day (a.k.a. Easter Sunday). Wishbone is both shocked and terrified, as well as greatly amused. The Empire is within my grasp.
He is risen, and he's coming for your BRAINS.
***
Day 14:
Apparently in shock from Blasphemy Bieber, Wishbone does not retaliate, and I strike another blow in the form of Teapot Bieber while she's still down. This is a fine example of what one of my fellow plebes called Wikipedia thinking: we started talking about a topic and, several inexplicable jumps later, my brain arrived at this destination.
Of course, then we started applying the actual "I'm A Little Teapot" song to this and couldn't get past the whole "steamed up" part without gagging a little.
***
Day 15:
Whether out of confusion or shock, Wishbone YET AGAIN does not strike back. Victory is in sight. I use Pirate Bieber to get the point across that I take NO prisoners in this battle for the Empire.
Stay tuned for week four.
