Bieber Wars: Episode II
A long time ago (two weeks ago) in a galaxy far, far away (Seattle), following the departure of a certain person from the Empire (a certain unnamed pharmacy company), the likeness of a rising Dark Lord, Justin Bieber, was discovered amongst the belongings said person left behind. A great battle was started between two of the Imperial plebs (Beeb and Wishbone) upon this discovery, and soon the battle spread across the Empire. This is the continuing story of that battle.
Day 6:
When I return on Friday, Wishbone has countered my Friday Bieber with THIS terrifying gem. Favorite scary movie? No. Scariest movie ever? YES.
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After brief contemplation, I feel this is the only appropriate response, considering I'm actually legitimately ill (and SOMEBODY kept telling me not to get them sick). I may or may not have actually been contagious, too, and gotten several people there sick. MY BAD, GUYS. I didn't really think I was contagious. >_>
***
Day 7:
I find the next day that Wishbone has not retaliated, so I take the opportunity to strike another blow by totally stealing one of Wishbone's own not-so-secret plots. Athough, I somehow don't think this is what she meant when she said she wanted to make a Trouty Mouth Bieber.
Oh, and, this is Trouty Mouth, by the by.
We're both too amused to make another move, so a temporary truce is called.
***
Day 8:
Of course, I fully expected to return the next day to some decent retaliation, but Wishbone has decided to fall-back for the day (call in sick) to regroup. Taking full advantage of this unique opportunity, I strike yet another blow. I seriously can't stop laughing. I'm told even the Emperor (our store manager) was amused by this one.
Don't tell her I called her that. >_> IT'S ONLY BECAUSE SHE'S THE BOSS, GUYS.
***
Day 9:
There is still no retaliation the following day, despite Wishbone's return. I suspect she is about to fly the white flag, but I take no prisoners, so I keep the hilarity blows coming. This one is yet another inside joke, and I yet again assure you that, thought slightly wrong, it is EXTREMELY hilarious.
I know, I know, I'm reusing a mechanism, here, but, hey, I was working on a schedule.
***
Day 10:
Wishbone FINALLY strikes back, AND HOW. Yep, THAT'S ME, and I unintentionally set the groundwork for it. I feel like this one was pretty much inevitable.
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I retaliate with THIS. HE FUCKING SPARKLES, YO. I'm exceptionally proud of that fact. Of course, all Wishbone could do was criticize my inaccuracy, but, WHATEVER, you know it's only because she was traumatized.
Close-ups of the SPARKLE (that "sparkle" is said with jazz hands, by the way).
Stay tuned for week three.
Bieber Wars: Episode I
A long time ago (last week) in a galaxy far, far away (Seattle), a certain person parted ways with the Empire (a certain unnamed pharmacy company). In the wake of this departure, the remaining Imperial plebs began tidying up said persons work space, and found amongst the many odds and ends stashed there a likeness of a rising Dark Lord, Justin Bieber. With the discovery of this likeness, a great battle was started between two of the Imperial plebs, known (for the purposes of this blog) as Beeb (me) and Wishbone (my coworker). This is the story of that battle.
Day 1:
Wishbone takes first blood. I begin my plotting. Little does she know, this isn't my first rodeo.
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I strike back with a Ke$ha-singing Bieber. Wishbone is annoyed upon discovery.
***
Day 2:
With Ke$ha now stuck in her head, Wishbone strikes back with this terrifying display of Bieber affection. I feel a great disturbance in the Force. It passes, and I get back to plotting.
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I counter with ghost Bieber. HE'S WATCHING YOU. This is what she gets for being a skeptic.
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Wishbone is obviously disturbed by this spectral Bieber, as she can think of no better retaliation than transferring him back to my locker. Creepy, but rather ineffective.
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Inspired by my last victory, I continue my supernatural theme with a zombie Bieber.
I got a bit involved with this one. I wanted the zombie to jump out at her. I'm told she ended up on the ground, so, VICTORY.
***
Day 3:
I return to work to find demon Bieber waiting to take my soul. As my soul is spoken for (mostly by the BBC), and I don't listen to Bieber, I think I'm OK.
I think I set a precedent with zombie Bieber, which Wishbone completely shattered, here (with the help of half the staff).
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I can't let this stand, of course, so I counter with Freddy Bieber (with some assistance from a coworker in the plotting stage).
One, two, Bieber's coming for you. Terrifying Bieber is terrifying.
***
Day 4:
I return to work victorious, only to find Bieber Spears waiting in my locker. I am amused, and somewhat frightened.
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I spend about five minutes plotting and the rest of the day executing my next move, ninja Bieber. He says you're a white, American devil.
He's deadly with those throwing stars, too.
When you hear the music, it's already too late.
***
Day 5:
Wishbone comes back with this gem. It's sort of an inside joke, done with permission of the manager that it's supposed to imitate, which is actually more funny than the mock-up itself.
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OH, I WENT THERE. Wishbone is dumbfounded.
Stay tuned for week two.
